Ogden Nash Quotes

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women,
     an occasional animal, and the common cold.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.
     Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new
     person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them
     something to ignore.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who
     haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who
     work standing up.

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

In far Tibet
There live a lama,
He got no poppa,
Got no mamma,

He got no wife,
He got no chillun,
Got no use
For penicillun,

He got no soap,
He got no opera,
He don't know Irium
From Copra,

He got no songs,
He got no banter,
Don't know Jolson,
Don't know Cantor,

He got no teeth,
He got no gums,
Don't eat Spam,
Don't need Tums,

He love to nick him
When he shave,
He also got
No hair to save.

Got no distinction,
No clear head,
Don't call for Calvert;
Drink milk instead.

He use no lotions
For allurance,
He got no car
And no insurance,

No Winchell facts,
No Pearson rumor
For this self-centered
Nonconsumer.

Indeed, the
Ignorant Have-Not
Don't even know
What he don't got.

If you will mind
The Philco, comma,
I think I'll go
And join that lama.